The E in apocalyptic
by kevslave
Summary: Title makes no sense? So does Captain. Snippy will receive a call and then...you'll find out!


**This is Kevslave, I hope you like it. Just in case, I do not own the series, but I dream to. Hope you guys like this, I didn't. Let's just move on.**

**Chapter Cover: A large Phone with spider webs was placed in the center of a dark room. All four of the apocalyptic group surrounded all sides of the phone while sitting in metal chairs. Captain sits with one leg over the other while drinking with his straw as he sits in the center, Pilot is holding a toy plane as he glares at the phone, Snippy is holding his knees as he stares intently at the phone, awaiting a call, and we can only see the tip of Engie's head. **

It was another ordinary day for Charles Snippy.

Inspecting the water for radiation with his geiger counter, taking a long hike over what used to be a highrise building, and overlooking the shenanigans that his Commander and teammate does on an hourly basis.

It may sound literally wrong, but that's what Snippy has to deal with. And to tell the truth, he's sick of it. There's hasn't been a moment where he didn't feel he wanted to strangle those that were near him, but if he were to follow his desires, he wouldn't be any more different than them and their corrupted minds.

Plus, without them, he wouldn't have been alive without their help. Which is ironic, because one of them always places him in dangerous and life-threatening situations. He can even still remember that masked man giving him a long list of supplies to find while giving him only a bag with a kitty cat design on the front.

That man might be insane, but he's also the most insanely lucky bastard Snippy has ever known,pre or post apocalyptic-wise.

"I'm back." The sniper uttered without a needed response as he enters a wreckage of a train coach that is now his groups temporary base. Snippy dropped his rifle and Doppler bag on one of the seats that was worn out beyond recovery.

The only other inhabitants were Captain, and the new guy, Engie. Engie seems to be fiddling with a fuse box(or that's what Snippy assumes is a fuse box) that he found nearby. Red, blue, and purple wires were crisscrossing and constantly changing places by the gloved hand of the engineer. Snippy had no interest with such techie stuff, so he disregarded his new member and looked at the other person currently sharing the small space of the console. Snippy sighed as he saw that man doing something far from logical again.

Zee Captain.

He was sitting on a retractable chair with no backrest right next to a small table that was both made of plastic. In both his hands, were some cards used in gambling. Theses cards were tainted with ash and soot, there were even holes in some. But that wasn't the odd part. The odd part was that the one on the other end was a skeleton that was also holding five cards in its hands.

Snippy got near him and sat on a mattress that was lain out on the opposite end of Zee Captain's table. He made himself comfortable and watched as Zee Captain had an argument with the skeleton about it cheating on that last hand and demanded a rematch. Snippy could never see this scene other than pure idiocy, so he closed his eyes and went to sleep. As he fell into slumber, he dreamt of the events that happened before this day.

Falling off from a train with a turbo attached to it's top, running away from large mutated worms, being captured by a group of hostile members, getting arrested by aliens, getting absorbed by biomass, and confronting a talking(possibly walking) mug.

All in all, that dream was a nightmare. And it was a nightmare he had already experienced in the real world. Snippy also deducted the reason on why these things keep happening.

Zee Captain.

A man so bizarre, the writer can't the properly before his name.

Of course Zee Captain's ridiculous luck played an important role in ensuring Snippy's well-being, but it's also a main factor on why he's always getting himself—or in this case, been forced—into the center of disaster.

Snippy hates Zee Captain's guts, but he owes him his life(and lot's of dignity).

"Urrggh..." Awakening from his sleep, Snippy rose up slowly with his vision still blurry.

"_Psst! Mr. Snippy.._.." Snippy could hear Zee Captain call him in a whispering tone. "_Look if he has any kings on him_."

"You're still at it." Snippy's gaze was directed at the watch wrapped around his wrist. "It's been 9 hours."

"_Just do it!_" Zee Captain insists on using a whispering tone even though the dead couldn't possibly hear(well...though Snippy has seen worse).

Snippy groggily rose from his sitting position and cracked his neck a bit before approaching the skinless corpse. Out of his expectations, the cards the skeleton was holding weren't even cards for playing. Their just random business cards and bills. But for the sake of Zee Captain...

"No kings. Just seven and aces."

"_Don't say it out loud Mr. Snippy. She might know that we're cheating!_" Once again, Zee Captain has said something very amazing. And he left Snippy with one question: how could you tell a skeleton's gender.

Snippy let Zee Captain continue his stupid game as he got to the end of the coach. In most coaches there should be a wall and steel door that marks the end of it, but both of those things were missing. Only a large hole was there, revealing the ghastly remains of a once prosperous city. As Snippy steps closer, there seems to be a creaking sound. But he still went forward to the edge, ignoring it completely.

As he stood on the edge of the coach, he looked at the cliff that was 30 meters off the ground that was right beneath them. It's really amazing that this coach was able to balance itself on this cliff without falling.

But well, this thing can't fall as long as Zee Commander is harboring it. Even if it does, some miracle should happen and all of them will survive(but that won't mean there won't be a few broken bones).

Snippy sat at the edge, his legs dangling in the air. He surveyed this frozen wasteland. He remembers it as if it was yesterday—the way this place ended. He was still a dead zone tourist back then. He worked for the GOOD Directorate Inc as a stereotypical pencil pusher. Charles Snippy was part of the 1% of the population unable to connect their mind to the Internet via a neural interface, and thus unable to Interact with The Directorate's "ANNET" system.

Then it all ended that day.

People died.

Weird creatures inhabited the earth.

And he's left with mentally disoriented group members.

Half his thoughts now are directed to who was responsible for this, while the other nagged him that Zee Captain is involved in this too. Though that latter part is likely true, Snippy should better stick with Zee Captain, or until he's found a refugee camp with a vast amount of supplies; which is less likely to happen.

Snippy pulled himself out from the edge and got back to his mattress. While pre-apocalyptic Snippy rarely got any sleep due to the ANNET-induced nightmares and unaffordable sleep-time, his post apocalyptic self is a rather heavy sleeper. Captain and Pilot have taken advantage of this repeatedly to dress him up in crazy costumes or play other pranks on him, while the Sniper was fast asleep. And knowing that he'll wake up and find out that he's upside down, he won't care. He just wants to rest before something he cannot comprehend pops up of nowhere...no, somewhere in Zee Captain's head.

Riiiiing!

(Hm?)

Just as he was going to sleep once more, there was a sound that awoke his dull senses.

Riiiinnngg!

(What?)

It was heard not once, but twice. Snippy listened carefully this time and tried to make out what it was. The noise was very familiar. But he can't put his finger on it.

Riiinnnnng!

What was it?

A bell, a chandelier, a buzzer, a buzzer, a malfunctioning mech, biomass gone berserk, pilot whistling under his mask, a wacky tool made by Engie...no, wait...there was only one thing possible making this noise. It's...

Riiiiinng!

"A phone!"

Snippy shouted out and sprang out from his mattress. The sniper nearly fell over from rising up to quickly, but he still scrambled to his feet and tried to find the source of this noise.

Riiinngg!

He heard it once more, now more clarified of it's origins. He thinks it somewhere near the control room. He stumble over one of Zee Captain's bag of shoes, but he still went on all fours towards the source of the noise.

Riiiinnng!

The increasing volume must mean he's on the right track. Snippy got back up and pulled open the rusty door separating this coach to the control room. The bolts were loose and old, so the door got flung off immediately. Snippy grumbled a bit but still walked over it to find the phone.

Riiiinnnng!

Snippy was now SERIOUSLY concerned. It was ringing for a while now. If he doesn't pick it up now, there's a high chance it won't ring twice. This time shouldn't be a prank by Zee Captain too cause he's still telling his life stories to the corpse, and the Pilot who's not with him right now can't think of a prank like this. So he'll be damned if he doesn't receive this call.

Riiinnng!

"Please don't hang up!"

The ringing was coming from under the large piles of paper currently on top of a wooden table. Snippy did not hesitate to throw them aside to find the phone. A radiated spider bit his finger but he just shooed it off cause he's protected anyways and just went on to push out the papers that's his obstacle to hope right now.

Riiiing!

After that latest ring, he finally found it. It was an old wireless VoIP type of phone. Snippy doubt it'll work because it's dials were punched in an completely unusable, the screen revealing the caller's name and number was reduced to shattered glass, and everything was covered by spider webs. But he left the unnecessary details aside and used his hand to dash for the operational handset.

Riin-

"Hello!" Snippy nearly shouted at the phone, hearing a gasp from the other end. He was also breathing hardly because he's done all that in such quick haste. "This is Charles Snippy! Who's this!?"

"**Bzzz...Hello...hell...hello!...*Crack*... Anyone out there!?**" The voice from the other end was muffled and crackled, not to mention full of static, but Snippy could identify the speaker as a man of age.

"Hello! This is Charles Snippy! I have 3 other survivors with me at current time! We are low on food and water. In need of immediate assistance mayday! Mayday! SOS! 911! Charlie Delta! Over!" Snippy wasn't a communication expert, so he just blurted out whatever he heard from action movies.

"**What?...This is Tommy Simmons from the Neo-Detroit refugee camp. Who am I speaking to?**" The voice continued requesting the same thing. At this point, the mask wearing sniper was starting to get restless.

"I repeat myself!...This is Charles Snippy. I got a bunch of guys here who are in desperate need of saving(most of us)! Over!" Snippy banged his hand on the floor furiously, demanding the message to get through.

"**Damn...would someone say something!?...Bzzzz...I can't here anything...*crackle*...but static coming through!**" The voice on the other was also starting to heat up. Then a revelation struck Snippy. He instantly removed the handset away from his ear and looked closer at it.

The transceiver of the handset was broken.

"**It's another failure Sam...*Crackle*...Bzzrr...I'm calling another number-**" Snippy heard the man calling himself Tommy Simmons say something, but those words weren't directed to him. And right after that, the line got disconnected.

"Fuck! Don't hang up! Please for goodness sake don't hang up!" But it was a meaningless command. Not even static could be heard anymore through the receiver. He was just yelling at a completely useless phone.

Snippy sunk to his knees. He pounded the floor with his gloved fists, rerouting his pain and disappointment towards the metal floor of the control room. Why wouldn't he? He had just lost one of the very few chances that he'll ever find any other human being who's sane or wants to murder him.

It was like a shooting star. The illumination and hope sprang right past his face across the dark sky, just to disappear the next moment into the horizon. Leaving Snippy with the feeling of emptiness, disappointment, resent, and most of all...despair.

" ,what the hell are you doing? I'm going to play a game of gold fish with that little young lady over there, and I need you're help to see if the bitch has any tricks up her sleeves."

Then he heard that man's noise.

Snippy looked up to see the owner of that low voice with the German accent. He saw the usual man clad in a heavy, dark grey trenchcoat, black leather boots and black leather gloves. A shroud, a black gas mask with dual filters and purple goggles obscures his face. A commander's hat rests upon his head with a red band around it and a single, silver star ornament on the front side.

Zee Captain really can't read the mood. Snippy can't really blame him, the mans insane for pete's sake. So Snippy held the urge to wrap his hands around the taller man's neck, and just stood up. He rubbed his throbbing fist for a second before responding to his superior.

No matter how in the dark Snippy is, he just has to go with Captain so that he'll do something ridiculous. As long as Zee Captain stays insane, Snippy will be sane in his stead.

"Alright Captain. Lead the way." His voice was lazy and lacked enthusiasm, but he can tell since it's muffled by the gas mask he's wearing.

"That's more like it! But let me warn you, she is pretty crafty." Zee Captain announced that and made an about face before returning to his table. Snippy followed afterwards, but with a slower pace.

Before Snippy could get a seat to join Zee Captain's table, a shadow of a familiar figure overlapped his. Snippy knew right away that it was the new guy, Engie.

"What is it new guy? I'm gonna watch the Captain's opponent to see if she has any tricks up her sleeves...not that she has any...or in the matter of fact a life..."

"Please tell me that was a joke." Engie sighed like an old man before continuing. "Was that a call? Was that from survivors."

"Yes, and yes. There was someone calling us minutes ago. But part of the handset was thrashed. Can't get any words through,we could only receive."

"Who was it?"

"The guy called himself Tommy Simmons. He was with a group called the Neo-Detroit refugee camp. Guessing from his tone, he must high up there cause he sounded pretty professional."

"Tommy Simmons..." Engie repeated those words. Even with his mask on,Snippy could see that this new friend was in deep thought. Like he was trying to remember something.

"Know the guy?"

"No...never mind." Engie avoided lengthening the conversation and continued on his fuse box that has now turned into something that resembles a tin-can robot with wires.

(He's lying.) Snippy told himself that, but he didn't try pursuing the truth any further. These people may have all been bonded together to survive this tragic post apocalyptic world, but it's best to not ask too much questions. Because some facts may hinder each others cooperation and end up tragically, no matter if Zee Captain interfere or not.

That's why Snippy chose to just shrug the matter off and continue to walk to the table. Now, he wants to be less thoughtful of a lot of things. His death-defying acts that happen every 12 hours or so, the pilot's weird imagination of his doll taking over the world, a phone call the will never...

Ring!

"Huh!?"

His shooting star rebounded.

It wasn't in his head, he heard the phone ring once more. He thought it came from that piece-of-trash VoIP phone again, so he turned his head there to hear the voice once more, hoping that it's true. What luck it is to have a phone call twice in the same day. It must be the same guy, Snippy thought.

Riiiinnng!

It wasn't coming from the control room. But from the opposite direction. He wasted no time to run towards the ringing which, in his opinion, sounded more distant than before. He gave a slight "Uwaaahh!?" as he almost fell off the edge of the cliff. Luckily, he changed his center of balance to his upper body and pulled himself back.

Riiiinnng!

He looked for the source of the ringing. And then he was surprised where it was. The phone that was ringing came from a building that was nearly 8 meters away from him. It was hanging from the edge of the building window, vibrating due to the incoming call.

RiiiinnnnG!

It was a very far jump. Snippy was very hesitant to do so. It is a very long fall if he were to miscalculate his jump. And if he chose to walk down and enter the building through the downstairs, he wouldn't make it, and he would really have no chance of meeting more survivors.

Riinnnng!

Setting his priorities straight, Snippy knew what to do. H ran back to the control, his head denying all logic as he's about to do something crazy. He placed both palms on the floor, and got ready in a sprinting position. Signaling himself, Snippy kicked thr floor and rushed down the coach.

Riiinnng!

His speed was increasing in every step. His feet nearly flying over the steel floor of the coach. Snippy is a very fast runner, being able to outrun Photoshop and the giant-spider-form of the Biomass. He is confident he can make that 8 meter jump at this speed.

Riiinngg!

"My tea!"

The captain spilled his tea at the worst of times. Snippy could not slow down and his foot slipped on the hot water. His speed wasn't decreased, but his trajectory was swaying.

Riiinnnng!

"Uwaaaahh!"

Because of the slipping, Snippy flew in the air back-first towards the abandoned building. He attempted to turn in mid-air and grasped for the ledge next to the phone. Everything was in slow motion due to the adrenaline going to his head. His life didn't flash through his head though, because that is no longer a running gag due to it's over usage.

Riiingg!

"Uf!"

His right hand was able to hold on to the designated ledge. The phone only inches away. Snippy used his left hand to grab the ldge also and tried to pull himself up. His energy was drained from that failed jump and considers this to be harder than he thought.

Riinnnnng!

He was able to pull his upper torso up, but the rest of his body was yet to come. Snippy now can see the phone in reach. It's design was a bit old, but there was a call incoming nonetheless. Snippy placed his body on to one arm in attempt of placing his weight forward, and used the other free one to reach for the handset.

Riiinnng!

It now wasn't long before the last ring will be heard. If Snippy had anything to do with it, he better do ti now. His hand outreached, his energy poured in keeping on the ledge, his goggles scrunched to form a upside down 'v', and sweat overflowing under his gas mask. HE MUST GET THIS CALL!

Riin-

"Hello, this is Captain's pizza delivery."

The phone was received but not by Snippy.

"This is Pilot, the delivery service boy."

It was the other maniac of the group. He wears a leather jacket, a vest, Russian bug-eye aviator goggles, a leather helmet, and a Russian KM32 gas mask with a tube running to an unseen location beneath his coat.

"May I take your order?"

"**Hello?...Order? What are you talking about? Is this a survivor? I'm not talking to some programed robot right?**" It was the same voice as the other guy who called a while ago.

"Oi! I'm the guy who you called a few minutes ago! Hey!" Snippy roared his heart out to try to get the other end to listen to him. But it seems no one on the other end can't hear anyone but Pilot.

"**This is Tommy Simmons. I don't know who is speaking, but hear me out. I have limited time, so listen properly cause I'm not saying this again.**" Snippy heard every word, but he can't say the same for Tommy.

"I see. Would you like anchovies or salami with those toppings..." Pilot was still speaking some senseless stuff.

"**We have a base set at area 567. If you take the highway and keep going west, you'll see us. You won't miss us, our sign is that big**." Tommy does not speaking, and Snippy does not stop climbing up.

"Yes. And remember that our products come with a customized mug made by our very own captain. We are not copying the Chinese. Have a nice day."

"**That's all the time...Bzzzz...I have to say...*crackle*...maniac or not...*crack*...may you be safe...**"

"Don't hang up!" Snippy finally got up and kicked Pilot in the face, knocking him backwards. Snippy got the handset that escaped Pilot's hands. "Hello! Hello! Hello!...Arrggh! FUCK THIS!"

He slammed the handset on the rest of the phone, smashing it instantly. His anger now is leaking like crazy. He is ready to kill.

"Hey! That was a potential customer! What's the meaning of that Sniper!"

And there's someone to vent his anger on.

There will be one Pilot less in this world now...

...

...

..

...nah, I'm not gonna kill off that guy.

…

…

…

…

The group now have a destination. They do not know what lies before them. They won't know if it's aleins, mutants, or even each other that will kill them off, but they'll do it anyways. Cause they are...the captain's army.

**Kevslave: Hey guys! Trying something a close friend requested I will be continuing the Sportsday fic on the TAMNI universe soon, but this is something for relief! SO bare with me.**

**Captain: Who is this new boob?  
**

**Kevslave: Arrr! How did you get here!?**

**Pilot: Don't you know? The magic of the Captain is able to cross over worlds.**

**Snippy: Nice place...wish it was bigger though.**

**Kevslave: What!? How'd you all get here? And if you were going to come, why not bring Engie? I like that guy.**

**Captain: Forget about him. But now, get out bitch. Your conversation panel is gonna lose all the readers so I'm taking over. Now BEAT IT!**

**Kevslave: But it's my fic...wait! Put down that tea it'll...Arrrgggghhh!(face melts)**


End file.
